I MISS YOU COME HUG ME BEAUTIFUL ouo
DON’T WORRY BBY IT’S NEARLY A MONTH UNTIL MCM WE SHOULD HUG AND GET FOOD AND DO PHOTOSHOOTS LIKE THE GOOD OL’ DAYS
OMFG JEMMA STAWP I LOVE YOU
You are a huge cutie omfg thank you! (/)u(\)
Isn’t it weird how glue doesn’t get stuck to the container it’s in
I could come up with a thousand metaphors of what depression is
but that would be ignoring the monster that is depression.
It is unforgiving, unyielding, it refuses to apologise for its presence.
It weighs deep in my stomach only to be growl angrily in the dark,
demands to be masked with food and sex and please god someone
just touch me to feel alive again. It keeps me awake in the dark and
shy away from the gentle caress of sunlight because I am not worthy.
Depression is drinking alone and crying into my pillow at night.
Depression is waking up in a cold sweat waking up with a sinking feeling
waking up and never really remembering falling asleep. It is
a silent scream bubbling in my lungs that is strangled by my ribs.
It is the every day lie of “I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine” whilst my fingers
tremble and struggle to hold plates to hold clothes to hold hands
to hold on to everything I have ever held dear. It is lashing out
at the people I love most it is pushing them away because I know,
I know that they will leave me one day.
It is the celebration that today I got out of bed today I brushed my
teeth today I took a shower today I left the house. It is putting on a
dress putting on a smile and putting on a show because no one
likes a party pooper no one likes a sad person no one likes depression.
It destroys everything you love because you can’t feel it. There is
nothing left but debris and ripped papers and a deep void of emotion.
I don’t feel anymore I wish I could feel something somebody just
let me feel something. My depression does not define me but it
refines me it changes me I become someone I am not. And I am
terrified of you to see who my heart really is.